I’m most likely the least-trendy particular person you’d ever wish to meet.
Popular reveals on TV? I don’t watch ’em. I will be the solely particular person within the nation who has by no means seen “Game of Thrones” or “The Masked Singer,” and I didn’t begin watching “Seinfeld” till it was in syndication.
Music? I’m often 10 years behind the instances. I listened to the Beatles within the 1970s, Led Zeppelin within the 1980s and Bruce Springsteen within the 1990s. In different phrases, except common acts had damaged up or vanished from the charts, I needed nothing to do with them.
How about dance crazes? Yeah, proper. Things like “The Hustle” and “The Electric Slide” got here and went with out me a lot as scootin’ a boot, most likely as a result of I used to be listening to “The White Album” when disco was huge, and, effectively, elements of which might be actually onerous to bop to.
(I’ll admit I discovered the Macarena in 1996, however for me, that was a actually unhealthy 12 months.)
All of which ends up in a surprising confession.
As of 14 days in the past, I’m on a diet.
The keto diet.
Yes, the most important, trendiest and most-hype-filled diet on the planet.
It is, dare I say, the trendiest factor I’ve completed in my life.
Reaction to this has been quick, livid and 100 p.c sugar-free.
“I’m so sick of everybody going on the keto diet!” fumed certainly one of my reporters final week, moments earlier than studying her boss was including to her sickness.
“STOP IT. NOW. RUN AWAY,” got here the subsequent remark.
“These fad diets never work! You’re just going to gain back all the weight you lose!” mentioned one other.
And the factor is, usually, I’d agree with that.
I’ve lengthy been cautious of diets. I particularly hate fashionable diets. More importantly, I like sugar. I additionally love baked potatoes and cake and pie and Coca-Cola and pasta and bread and cheesecake and hen parmesan and milkshakes and particularly, honey glazed walnut prawns. God, how I like honey glazed walnut prawns.
But right here’s the factor. All these issues I simply talked about? You can’t eat them on the keto diet.
“It’s NOT a diet,” my a lot better-thinking-and-looking-half, Sherrie, instructed me in late December. “It’s just choosing to eat a different way.”
I had my doubts. I’d by no means actually tried a diet as a result of I couldn’t see changing cake and potatoes with lettuce and tomatoes. Rabbits can stay on that, however I outweigh your common rabbit by about 240 kilos.
(Which, in fact, is a downside.)
Anyway, I dove in headfirst. Figuring if folks might survive on “Naked and Afraid” for 40 days with out meals or garments, I might survive three months by consuming “different” meals. (And nonetheless carrying garments.)
Therein comes essentially the most stunning a part of this. The meals — once more, because of my aforementioned spouse — is stunningly good.
First, I can eat just about all of the fats and protein I would like. Hamburger? Steak? Bacon and eggs? I’m ingesting these like sweet. Cheese, hen and seafood? Yum, yum and yum.
Best of all, my spouse places collectively some masterful keto dishes. My favourite home-cooked meals up to now have been tacos (with all the common innards) in a coconut-flavored wrap, Caprese Chicken, and a few scrumptious keto waffles topped with raspberries and heavy whipping cream. And, sure, precise pizza — made with all my favourite toppings, plus cauliflower crust.
The one factor I haven’t fully deserted is refined sugar — at least, in my morning espresso. A person’s received to know his limitations, and morning espresso with out cream and sugar is mine.
After that one indulgence, I’m principally sugarless the remainder of the day.
I’m going with out one different factor, too: Indigestion. After dwelling with it as an every-hour reality of life for 10 years, I abruptly haven’t had any for the previous two weeks.
Finally, the actual fact I’ve misplaced (drumroll, please) 14 kilos in 14 days doesn’t harm both.
Now — this isn’t to say this diet (er, “new way of eating”) is for everyone. Nobody ought to try it with out checking along with your physician or at least googling among the potential unwanted effects and hazard areas.
The aim is 100 days. After that, I’ll goal to “maintain” my weight with a mixture of outdated consuming habits and new. If I blow it, or if something goes south as a results of this effort, I’ll let you realize.
And, in fact, I’ll must work in some old school non-trendy train to maintain that weight off. Anybody wish to be a part of me for the Macarena?
Mike Wolcott is editor of the Enterprise-Record. You can e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org, or comply with him on Twitter @m_mwolcott.